Freaky Knickers
by LauranTheBiscotti
Summary: A Freaky Friday twist to the Georgia Nicolson books.
1. Chapter 1

**Monday, 1st of August**

8:05am 

LaLaLaLa, today's the first day of the last month of school !!!!

Met Jas at her gate.

"Hey Jazzy-Spazzy Knickers, guess what?"

'Don't call me that."

JEEEz, in a huff already and she's not even out of her gate.But I am not going to let it spoil my mood on this gorgey day.

"Fine, I'll call you this. This, guess what?"

She rolled her eyes and huffed away.

I ran to catch up with her. It wasn't hard--she's been piling on the pies. I can tell by the voluminous and billowy her knickers are this morning.

'Jazz-uh, Jas?"

Silence

"Today is the first day of the last month of school!"

Silence

"That means no more learning and more time for, er, vegetable boy Tom"

She perked up a bit at that and started playing with her fringey like a stupid fringey...thing.

"Oh yeah, and now Tom and I can finally--"

"ERLACK!"

"EXPLORE THE BACK FIELDS"

We walked on in silence for a bit.

"Jas?"

"Hmph"

"This also means, no more Hawkeye, no more books, no more Elvis' dirty looks, no more Hawkeye, no more books, no more Elvis' dirty looks, no more Hawkeye, no more books, no more Elvis' dirty looks"

Started to dance around, still singing. Spazzy Knickers just stood there, arms crossed and glaring . She was glaring, not her arms. Anyways.

'Don't be so--"

I grabbed her hands and started swinging her around in circles.

Eventually she got into it too, and we continued down the path still singing and stopping occasionally to dance frenzy.

Just then the Bummer Twins slagged by.

"Oh look, the lesbians are having a party. Shall we?"

"Lets."

Then they shoved us into a gorse bush.

8:15am 

Hobbling to Nursey.

"owowowowow"

"ooooh,I've got prickles in my knickers."

For some reason this set me off into a laughing fit. By the time Nurse Pinchot called us in, I was coughing and choking and wheezing, as red faced as a loon.

8:30am 

Bloody Hell, I've been sent home! Nurse P. took one look at me and sent me off .Jas tried to explain what had happened, but I was laughing so hard I had a coughing fit. The nurse thought I was having an allergic reaction and so I was swnt home. As I went out the door I looked back to see Jas being told to bend over and the nurse had big tweezers in her hand. OOOER.

8:45am 

Skipping home singing "Born Free." A voice right behind my ear said

"You should be humming FreeBird."

I screamed and fell...into another gorse bush.

9:50am 

Crawled home. Thanfully, I didn't see anyone I know on the way home.Thankfully Thankfully I was wearing my safe knickers, in case someone came by and saw up my skirt.

9:57am 

Went into the kitchen.

"Hello, dear family, I'm home!"

No response...hmmmm...

9:59am 

No one in the living room

10:03am 

No one in any room.I'm all alone in my time of need!!!!!

10:09am 

Peace, oh wonderful peace! At long last!

10:16am 

Nice to not be disturbed for once.

10:25am 

UHOH,doorbell.

Maybe if I ignore them, they'll go away.

10:27am 

RingRingRing and KnockKnockKnock

Locked the loodoor.

10:30am 

All quiet. Inner peace, ooohmmmm...

10:31am 

Did the stairs just creak?

10:31 1/2 am 

Oh my god someone's coming up the stairs!And I'm in my nuddy-pants...and defenseless!

in the linen closet 

Grabbed the plunger and ducked into the linens loset. Maybe they don't even know anyone's here.

thirty seconds later 

But then why would they ring the doorbell ?

later 

Still waiting. I'm hungry. And have to go to the Piddly Diddly department.

4pm 

Swiss Family Mad finally home. I never thought I'd be so glad to see Dad's ridiculous moustache that he's trying to grow.

Mum found me. I had nodded off and only woke when Mum pulled the linen closet and fell starkers onto the floor.Mum said "I'm not even going to ask."

4:10pm 

Told Mum about the whole fiasco, from the prickly knickers bit (ooer) to falling asleep in the linen closet. She said it was the chimney sweep. Dad had asked him to come when noone was around because of the chimney dust. Mum says he's a "gorgey little Chinese man".

Oh, lord.

4:15pm 

That would explain the mini skirt and excessive perfume.


	2. Mr Carrot

**a/n: I don't own anything , except the plot. Georgia, Jas, etc. all belong to the lucky, lucky Mrs. Rennison.**

**Thursday, August 3rd**

_8pm_

No phone calls, no visitors, nada. I might as well be dead.

I'll just go to bed instead.

_8:45pm_

Why does Libby insist on sleeping with me?

And in the nuddy-pants no less?

**Friday,August 4th**

_8:09am_

Mum made me go to school when she caught me "Let's go down the disco dancing" when I should have been sick.People get sick from thorn bushes, right?

_8:15am_

Met Jas at her gate. Asked her. She said "Only if you eat them".

Oh.

_9:19am_

Same bat time, same bat place, same bat Wilson ranting on about respect, responsibility, blah blah blah.

Asked Jas "Any goss?"

She just went "SHHHH!!!" and turned away, like she actually CARED about what the Jelloid One is talking about.

Told Ro-Ro "It's hard to respect anyone who wears their pants pulled up to their armpits".

Rosie turned and looked at me...and had on Groucho Marx glasses.

Slim took away 2 conduct points each for laughing.

_break_

Jas has been ignore-vousing me all day. Even when I put my arm around her shoulders and did a cossak dane.

Asked Ellen : "what's up her bum?"

"Thorns."

OOER!

_religious education_

Turns out Jas is mad because I got sent home and she had to stay and pull out thorns all day.

She had to miss 3 dates with Hunky because of my so-called childness.

_3:20pm_

Walking home alone. As soon as the final bell went,Jas made a mad dash for the double doors out.

By the way she waddle-ran, she must still have prickles in her bum.

_3:30pm_

Walking along when I heard someone make a catcall and yell out "Hey Sex Kitty!".

Great,doesn't he know I'm sitll ignoring-vousing him out of sheer bewilderment from our last conversation of "meaning to be together" and all of that crap?

Kept on walking, not daring to look back.

_3:35pm_

I looked back. He's still there, damn!

"I knew you couldn't resist me!"

_4:15pm, my room_

So I ended up telling Dave all about the Jas situation. He says that dhe's jealous I got sent home and she ended up spending three days in the hospital, various doctors pulling thorns out of her bum.And she's angry I never apologized.

He gave me a hug then...we snogged!!! In front of everybody!

Why do my lips keep doing that? My head syas no but my lips are saying "HORN !!!!"

_4:25pm_

Oh dear, Sven is rubbing off on me.

OOOER

_9pm_

In bed with Libby, Mr. Carrot, and sonething so smelly it makes my eyes water.I'm afraid to look what it is,though so I just have to tolerate it. For now, at least.

Laying here thinking about how difficult my life is...the Cosmic Horn, run-away lips,snogging pantsmeisters and ex-boyfriends of best friends...

I wish my life was as simple as Jas'...vegetables, big knickers, and ordered sock drawers.

_9pm Jas' House_

In bed with the bear Tom got me for my last birthday. Mum and Da' are on me again about applying for Cambridge. They want me to focus more on my studies and less on Tom. I wish my life was as easy as Gee's...

_9:01pm both houses,same time_

I wish my life was as simple as hers !!!!!


	3. rambles

(a/n:I don't ownany of these mad-o's or anything else really for that matter. I do own a cape. Still don't know the when's and why's I do though.)

The Next Day

Saturday,August 5th

(Jas' House)

_8am_

Oh Buddah,my head hurts.I'm just going to go lie under the covers and pretend to be dead.Noone will notice.

No one ever oes...notice me,I mean.

Mum forgets to feed me at least 30 days a month (which, for you very dim out there, is EVERY day).

At least I didn't get woke up by Libby's smelly bungholio or a fresh treat from. Angus.

_8:05am_

Where is Angus? He never came in last night.

I better get out of bed and rescue whatever poor animal or person he is stalking. The postman still doesn't come by.

_8:07am_

Why am I in Jas' room?

8:08am

And why does sxhe have so many stuffed animals? Especialy owls?

It's like Animal Kingdom in here.

8:10am

Oh no, I hope I'm not sleepwalking. Grandad does it. And he sleeps nude, which is NOT a very nice sight. Especailly when he wakes up on a church pew.

Those nuns made the right choice, moving to Switzerland.

9am

Went to Jas' mirror to see if she was in the loo re-arranging her fringe But she wasn't. I wonder where she could be?

9:05am

Oh well. Jas has some fab lippy I can try on while I am waiting for her.

Where's the light for the mirror...

9:06am

Found it !

OH MY DEAR LORD SANDRA !!

I have no nunga-nunas!!

(same day)Georgia's House

7:30am

Up at my usual time for a ramble with Tom .

Thank goodness I've set my alarm on my watch. I'd be late all the time like Georgia.

7:35am

Looking for my bathroom but it has seemed to move to the other side of the room.

What is going on?

7:40am

OH MY GOD


End file.
